Trina: A Rededication:

I find myself, lately, not being as dedicated as I should be.

There are things in my life that I have let...slip (shall we say?).

For several months now I have been very focused on things outside of myself:

A wedding, which went off beautifully I think.

Lots of family staying at our house. I am so grateful for all of them that came and helped.

Driving for a group of ladies who ran 200 miles of Ragnar Relay Race. Um - amazing!

My kids starting school again..a husband in the Bishopric and his PhD classes...things like this and more.

I, also, for that past few months, have been fully engaged to...running.

Yikes!

I have been very reluctant to talk about my running because I just saw 12 women run 200 miles! Holy cow! They are intense and awesome. And I am just Trina Fife, the non-runner, the slowest-one-in-the-pack, the what-the-heck-am-I-doing!? Trina Fife.

There are lots of stories I could tell you about why I have never been a runner. Yes, there is actually a history of it. But I choose today to tell you why I am running now.

I needed a challenge...um, no. I wanted to be with a bunch of women who are natural runners...YES, but no, not really. I wanted to hurt like I've never hurt before in my life...definitely not. The plain honest truth is that my daughter, Eryn, was getting married and I needed to lose weight! I went into panic mode, looked around and low and behold there were some good-looking runners out there...so off I went.

What I didn't know was that running is not a quick fix. In fact, it creates a whole lot of other problems. I won't go into them right now, but let's just say that this HAS become a challenge.  It has taken up a huge chunk of my life that, honestly, there was no room for it to begin with.

Due to this change of focus my house has fallen into a state of uncleanliness, Alivia is behaving like a pre-civilized wild Scottish child and I have no clue to what's going on around me (outside of my running trails).

So, this weekend I went to Time Out for Women in Richmond. I wanted to be energized and feel the Spirit intensely. Although it was a great get-away and there were some really amazing speakers, I just didn't feel it in me. I realized that more and more lately all I've been feeling is BLAH. About everything. I'm not sure what the cause is, but I came home on Saturday evening and decided that it's ok that I didn't have the experience that I thought I would. It's ok that my house is only clean on the surface. And it's ok that I am not on top of everything every second of every day....right now. 

I am doing something for myself and if running is going to take that much focus then I can let other things in my life go. I do have to deal with Alivia pretending to be Tom Sawyer, but that's a lifetime of work! 

I woke up Sunday morning and just decided to rededicate myself to myself. And it's not just going to be conclusive to running. There are some other things in my life I need to refocus myself on:
My spiritual self needs some taking care of. I want an orderly mind that needs an orderly space. Drinking enough water (why is this so hard?), and there are few projects I need to start up again...things like this and more. But not so much more that I lose myself (balance,...right?).

I do have to say how grateful I am for so many wonderful choices in my life. How blessed I am that I actually am choosing not to just focus on my housework! I am just thankful to have a house. And I really do have the most amazing people in my life. My kids are so awesome. They are more than awesome...they are awesomesauce (thanks, Deal's for that expression). And how blessed am I that I have a new son-in-law, Andrew, and his parents in my life. I have some pretty great parents and some pretty great siblings, including all the in-laws. I really do love them all so much. My husband is pretty terrific too. And my friends...WOW! Could I be anymore blessed? 

Ok, maybe a quicker pace would be nice...